new entry for book

Become genuinely interested in other people;
Smile; Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language;
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves;
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests;
Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

In a perfect world I would love these principles- especially smile; everyone loves a smiley face. But even in Carnegie’s world these principles are, for the most part, impossible to implement, simply because if everyone followed them then no one would be saying anything, and if they did, all they would say is:

Person 1: you’re great!
Person 2: No, you’re great!
Person 1: No, really you’re the great one!
Person 2: No, I insist, you’re the truly great one!

Then they would fight to settle the issue.

I would agree with Carnegie on a few of these and here are MY reasons why:

Become genuinely interested in other people

This one makes sense but your interest does not have to be genuine. As long as you can mine someone for information that you may be able to use at some point for good or for ill, then it's not like you really need to like them or care about them. Sometimes you may have to actually remember a birthday or two in order to schmooze someone. But the main thing is that in order to beat them, you have to know them. Whenever you have a chance to probe for their weaknesses grab it!

Some people are “genuinely” interested in finding out about someone, but we usually refer to them as stalkers and hit them with a restraining order. You know the ones that know exactly when you wake up, where you go, how you get there, they know all your friends, they know all your friends birthdays, they know what you eat and when you eat it...these are the people that are genuinely interested in you, and who the hell wants that kind of attention. Mind you, some people end up referring to these people as 'my wife' or 'my husband' or 'my mistress'. In any case, it's not a healthy situation if you are on either end of this genuine obsession.

Also, you don’t want to get too close to your subject if you have to whack them over the head with a well-placed lie later. If you have a conscience, you’re not going to feel good about it. If you have kept the proper distance emotionally, physically, psychologically, then you should have no problems having to use the information you have gathered about them to influence them ( cough cough, clear throat...I mean manipulate them) at some point.

Think about the real world and how you get sucked into doing things that you don't want to do, definitely hate to do, and just simply have no choice about; how did someone get you to do it? They mined you for info, found that weak spot and exploited it. Do you think these people had a genuine interest in you? Do you believe they actually ever really liked you? Come on, wake up, play the game!

There are going to be very few people you meet that you are going to be genuinely interested in, but everyone you meet can either potentially hurt you or help you; it's in your best interest to figure them out and identify which potential is more likely. So yeah, show them some interest but the person you should be most genuinely interested in, is yourself.